10 Important Character Traits in Marriage

This post can apply to singles as much as those already in a relationship! There are some qualities that you can't fully develop until you are actually in a relationship, but today we are going to talk about the character qualities that you can start working on today that will help you in a future marriage.

-Forgiveness. It's been said that marriage is made up of two good forgivers, and that's the truth! Learn to forgive others, and not hold grudges against them. Sometimes I think that it harder than being the one apologizing! One day, your willingness to forgive will really come in handy.

-Love. Basically the definition of love is putting someone else's needs above yours. Thinking of them first. In marriage, you need to not only be vocal about your love, but show it in your actions daily. Be kind and thoughtful to others even when it's hard! A lot of times that is when love is needed the most.

-Grace. It is so important to learn to have a heart full of grace and understanding in life. Just because you are married doesn't mean you'll be synced perfectly together and always be 100% agreed on things. We all have all faults, instead of pointing fingers and judging others, it's better to take care of our own selves and be full of grace.

-Respect. I think everyone deserves respect, I know how much it is emphasized on men needing respect...but that's not really accurate, because women need to be respected just as much. (That's a rant for another day!) In a marriage, respect for each other is so vital! You'll need to respect each others space, feelings, opinions, personality, decisions, quirks and differences...I could go on and on. Learn now about respecting others and it will help your marriage in the future.

-Thankfulness. The opposite of being grateful is being dissatisfied. And that is not what you want in a marriage relationship! Counting your blessings each and every day, especially when it comes to your mate, is healthy and will keep you safe. It protects from envy, jealousy, being discontent and unhappy, and so much more. Sometimes I will catch myself thinking "why can't my husband be more like this" or "why doesn't my husband do that for me" when instead, I need to be thinking "I'm so glad my husband does that for me" and "what a blessing my husband has a heart like this." Complaining never improves anything, but thankfulness will fill your heart with joy and benefit your marriage in so many ways.

-Contentment. This goes hand in hand with the point above so I'll keep it short. Basically, if you aren't content before marriage, you're not going to be content after.

-Flexibility. I always thought I was a really flexible person, but even I had to learn to be more flexible once I got married! Life won't always be scheduled or go according to plans. Being able to keep a good attitude when things change or don't go your way is an important trait to bring into a marriage.

-Initiative/Independence. But wait, don't men want to be the ones in control? And aren't they intimidated by independent women? Well if they are weak men then yes. Most (real) men want to marry girls who are able to take care of themselves and can take the lead if they need too. You need to be mindful of your husband, but you can't expect he will always be there to care for you, all the time! You need to be smart and strong enough to take responsibility when and if it is handed to you. In marriage sometimes a wife will be required or asked to take initiative in many different areas, and you need to be ready for it when that day comes. (In the practical sense: know how to pay bills and how to handle a bank account, be able to pump your own gas or call a tow truck, be able to talk to strangers and make conversation, know how to deal with business phone calls, or handle appointments on your own, learn about managing a budget and household. Etc.. Some of those might be dumb, but I've know married women who had no idea about any of that!)

-Humility. To be humble is something incredibly difficult at times but just might be the key to leading a happy life. If you have a humble heart, it allows you to learn from your mistakes and choose to make better choices next time. If you are humble it shows great maturity and a gracious, forgiving, and thoughtful spirit. Humility is what makes you able to say "I'm sorry" when you do wrong. Marriage is all about learning and growing, and humility is the key attitude we need to have to allow that to happen.

-Honesty/Trustworthiness. A husband and wife need to have 100% mutual trust for each other for a long lasting and healthy marriage. And honesty is what keeps us open and communicating. Start learning now how to be a more trustworthy person, and how to communicate honestly with those around you. Proverbs 31:11 comes to mind, "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil."

That's really just the tip of the iceberg I'm sure, but those are just a few that came to mind first!

Can you think of any other important character qualities to add to the list?

XO, Arielle

1 comment:

  1. Great post, Arielle!
    I think that communication, even though it's not really a character trait, is a very important aspect of any marriage/relationship.


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