I was looking at an online photo album last night full of all my old friends. It's a bit odd situation perhaps, so I think I should explain a bit. I'll try to make a long story short. I was a part of this clique for several years (Elementry - High School). A select group of maybe 6 girls, we were considered inseperable. We spent all of our time together, we were practically family. When I hit 16 I had enough of it and left. Or rather, I decided to change and they didn't approve of it. There was a little bit of drama, but it wasn't so serious that we completely lost touch. A few of us are still friends. So back to present time, I long since moved away but like I said I still keep in touch and we still see each other often as we all attend the same church when I'm in town. There are no hard feelings!
As I skimmed through the photos I got a twinge in my heart. I just ignored it but several hours later I was still feeling down and well, depressed! I used to be one of them. I dressed just like they do (I think we all owned the same clothes), my hair always looked just like theirs. I was always in those group photos, smiling and happy to be a part of something.
Maybe I went wrong I started thinking to myself, maybe I should be more like them again. They all do look really nice, they wear cute clothes, they always look gorgeous, there isn't anything wrong with all liking the same things... why did I ever start being different? Why did I change?
And that is where I am this morning. Asking myself, why am I different? Why do I dress how I dress? Why is this the way I do things? And frankly it has been good for me. I have been reminding myself why I am who I am. Why I'm different. And it isn't because I don't like how they look. I think they are all beautiful girls. But my style is different than others, and the only reason that I came up with is because I'm just me! And I have to keep being myself, because there isn't any shame in embracing my own unique personality and style. Being yourself is beautiful. Peer pressure isn't the only thing that can make you doubt yourself, mainstream media has many ways of trying to conform people into a certain mold. There isn't anything necessarily wrong with that mold, but please don't let it take away the pieces of what makes you who you are! So here is a list that I wrote down this morning to remind myself of the things I love that make me different and unique. It really helped me to get myself back on track and to stop focusing so much on what others think.
What Makes Me... Me.
-Yes my hair is curly, thick, long and unruly. But I love my crazy mane. It's me!
- No I don't style my hair every day. Most of the time it's kind of a wreck. And that's ok.
- What's that? You think my big sunglasses make me look like a bug? I know, it makes me smile every time I see my reflection.
- Chipped nail polish? Yes, and that's okay. My nails aren't perfect.
- I love my hands as unattractive and scarred they may be. It's a gift from God that I can even use them so for that I'm thankful.
- I love wearing baseball caps. They satisfy the tomboy in me and make me feel safe.
- But I'll probably have some kind of bling on or a fresh manicure 'cause I'm also quite girly and love being feminine.
- My cowboy boots are my most favorite item I own. Putting them on is instant happiness.
- I wear skate shoes with frilly skirts. And that judgmental look you're giving me isn't gonna make me feel inferior. ^_^
- Wearing cardigans & pencil skirts doesn't mean that I can't have fun or that I'm too serious. If you took the time to get to know me you'd see the truth!
- I'm a total country girl. Bare feet, driving with the windows down, Tim Mcgraw. And I can use a shovel or an ax better than a lot of guys I know. True story. ^_^
- I'm also quite the city girl. I squeal at mice, like nightlife, and love to shop.
- I'm passionate about a lot of different issues, subjects and things. It might seem out of the ordinary and random but it all comes together to form who I am.
To close up this post, here is a quote by Dr. Suess that is quite wise.